Chapter 7 - Secret Love

It wasn’t as if our disagreement didn’t affect me. I just learned not to let it get to me too much. However, I underestimated how ignoring the issue could negatively affect a person’s relation with another.

We didn’t really speak to each other when we both got up in the morning. Neither of us, not me nor Em, made a move to talk about our issues. The thing is, I knew how Em was. She was stubborn, always had been, especially when she believed she was right, and in a way, she did have a point. There had to be a better way of dealing with large numbers, however, I was too reluctant to gamify this whole system. I didn’t want either of us to think that we were living in a video game, that actions didn’t have consequences, but maybe I too was too stubborn.

So I took a look at the system. I opened an empty panel, purely for myself, and started to design how it would work. First of all, multiplying everything by a hundred probably was overkill, and I already had things in place to display decimal numbers. However, I did feel like using decimals just didn’t feel right, so I changed it just a bit to separate the two values. I labeled both with a separate symbol to distinguish the two.

“Hey Em,” I said. “I decided to implement it.”

“Well, good for you,” Em said.

Em was acting a bit cold towards me. I wasn’t really sure if she was pissed off at me or if this was just her usual self.

“Well, what do you think?” I asked.

“It looks okay,” she replied.

“What should I change?”

“I said it looks okay.”

I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

“Well you don’t sound like you’re okay with it,” I said.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, okay?” she replied.

“Then what is wrong?”

“Like I said, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m not talking about this, I’m talking about what’s happening now.”

Em sighed. “You know what, forget it, let’s just talk about it another time.”

As Em turned around to walk away, I took her hand.

“No, Em,” I said, “we need to talk it out now. I don’t want things to get awkward between us.”

As she turned back to me, I could see a face I hadn’t seen before. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I had my suspicions.

“I’m not annoyed,” Em said. “I… I mean, yes, after you pressed on, I did get annoyed, but, I appreciate you actually thinking about what we discussed yesterday.”

“Look, Em,” I said. “I’m sorry for pressuring you. It’s just that, you’re one of my best friends, and right now the only friend I have at the moment. I just don’t want you to hate me.”


“It’s so unfair,” I mumbled to myself.

He didn’t hear me, or I assumed he didn’t. I wanted to smile, but deep down, something stung. I thought that after all this time he’d still be interested in me, but at that moment, I wasn’t sure anymore.

“What did you say?” Gui said.

“Nothing,” I replied.

I tried to avert his eyes, but for some reason…


“Hey, Em, are you alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied.

There definitely was something odd about Em. As if she wanted to avoid seeing me. I guess it was pretty uncharacteristic of me to look her in the eyes, as I myself generally avoid doing that to people.

But, no, there definitely was something familiar about this, and yet it felt very foreign, something I’d expect with any other person except Em.

I let go of her hand, or at least my grip on her hand, but she immediately grabbed it again. For a moment, we stood there, until she finally let go.


My heart began to hurt. Why did I expect things to stay the same? Surely he had given up on me the moment I said I was asexual, and back then, in my previous life, it wasn’t a lie. But things have changed now, this was a different body, despite it looking exactly the same as it did back then.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I need some time alone.”

I walked back to the bedroom, and closed the door behind me. This feeling in my heart, it was almost like back then, when I was her.

I think I’ve laid in bed for quite a long time. I just laid there, trying to sort out my own feelings, until I was sufficiently calmed down.


I’ve spent some time reworking the system. I’ve contemplated calling it dungeon points, but I didn’t like the abbreviation. I’m pretty sure Em wouldn’t get it, but it still didn’t sit right with me. I just called them points, until Em and I came to an agreement, and if it would end up as dungeon points, then so be it, is what I thought.

Anyway, I also wasn’t sure if there was an upper limit to the amount of points there could be stored. I assumed that there was some form of limit, but at least we weren’t there yet. Either way, I decided to implement some new features, one of those was a system where you could set aside certain points, kinda like putting the points in a bank, except there’d be no interest over it. There was no immediate use for it, but it helped me come up with some new concepts I could try.

I walked up to the bedroom and knocked on the door, to see if Em was still awake. After a few seconds, she slowly opened the door.

“Hey, Em,” I said. “Check this.”

I walked inside, and opened the list panel.

“Okay, so, I’ve implemented a system where you can now set an object in a queue, and the points will automatically be allocated to that once enough points have been collected.”

“Wow,” Em said, “that’s really handy.”

“I know, right?”

“Can I test it out?”

“Sure, be my guest.”

She took over the panel, and immediately queued the video game console and television.

“Okay,” I said, “so, on this screen, you can see what you’ve queued, and what you can place. You can also cancel it if you find out you don’t really need it.”

“Maybe we could queue some things we need.”

“We definitely should do that.”

For a while, we had forgotten our problems, to the point where I began to lower my guard.

“I love you,” I said, on an impulse, before I realized what words escaped my mouth.

Em remained quiet for a while, before replying, in a more somber tone, “As a friend?”

I knew that I couldn’t tell her the truth, that no, I didn’t mean it as a friend, I meant it as more than that. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. It was for the best, there was no other way.


“No,” he said. “I’ve never stopped loving you.”

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I knew I had to give him an answer, and I knew the answer. Yes, I love you as well.

I looked at him, trying to keep my emotions in check.

“Do you remember Kyoko?”

Next chapter (Ch. 8 - Say You'll Be There)

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